Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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