Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
