She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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