Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
