Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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