my vag is so smooth its legendary
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
