It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
