in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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