have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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