I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize