I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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