I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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