Kiss
Puke
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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