What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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