How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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