Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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