I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
