We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
