had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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