If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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