Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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