and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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