i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Randomize
