ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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