No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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