I just saw a hot homeless man
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
