There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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