Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
