So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize