so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
