PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
