i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Still dying that you shit outside
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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