She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
