I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
