Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize