We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
