I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
