Porn is love you can see.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
