so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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