it's too hot outside to masturbate.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
