i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
