Do you still have your period?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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