I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
