Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
