Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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