you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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