So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
