I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
