I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
