how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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