Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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