Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
