If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
