I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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