It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
