so let's talk penis.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
