I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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