i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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