yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
