The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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