dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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