good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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