I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
